Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
