I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
