; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
