I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
