im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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