Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
