Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
