You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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