it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
