Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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