I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
tell me about the eggs
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