question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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