So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Congratulations! We have a period
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