You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
