Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
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Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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