we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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