How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
