haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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