if only i could text you this smell
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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