she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
tell me about the eggs
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