No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize