nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
