Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize