Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
