Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
