Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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