my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
