I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i barfeds in our rink
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
