I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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