Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
