why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
