It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
