Non-Jews are for practice
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
