did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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