if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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