school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
