spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
