Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
