How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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