If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
