a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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