so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
