i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
