Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize