I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
