So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
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Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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