Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
