Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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