Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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