just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
