i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Actions speak louder than pants.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
