this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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