I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
