Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
