4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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