Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
