but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
