He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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