She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
