it wasn't lemon gatorade
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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