worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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